How To Find A Queer Wedding Outfit That Doesn’t Feel Like Straight-Girl Cosplay

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I was the little girl who daydreamed about her wedding day. But when the imaginary faceless man waiting for me at the end of the aisle became a beautiful woman, I realized that I had a lot to rethink. Weddings are tied to a long history of tradition, steeped in an extremely heteronormative binary. And as a queer person who has heard time and time again (and oftentimes not with the kindest of intentions) that my lifestyle is “alternative” (aka, explicitly not traditional), wading into the waters of wedding planning can be an emotionally loaded and complicated process. That’s because literally every moment of a wedding is entrenched in these binaries, which can feel uncomfortable for a queer person that doesn’t feel like they fit into them. If you’re in a queer couple that doesn’t adhere to these preconceived roles, reimagining your wedding from the ground up is a lot to take on.

An unexpectedly gendered part of weddings is the dress. A search for “lesbian wedding dresses” returns woefully little, most of it for effortlessly cool brides who want nontraditional wedding dress options, such as ones with color or short lengths. But for someone who still wants to feel bridal on their wedding day without cosplaying a straight girl, none of that feels right to me. That’s why I’ve put together some options for those of you who have started to search for a queer wedding outfit and don’t see yourself in the search results. Finding a wedding dress is hard enough without the added pressure of wondering if it reflects your gender and sexual identity. So, whether you’re masc, femme, non-binary, or something else entirely, your wedding day should be a celebration of queer love and joy — and, most importantly, it should feel like you.

Tl;dr: you can wear whatever the hell you want to your wedding, queer or not. But think of this as a jumping-off spot for inspiration. Keep reading to see some of our favorite queer wedding outfits, including: wedding jumpsuits, dresses of all textures/colors/cuts, suits, and accessories to inspire your perfect queer wedding outfit.

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Queer Wedding Dresses With Textural Twists

Texture can be a really fun way to make a wedding gown feel unexpected or different. If you’re most comfortable with traditional bridal styles (think strapless, sweetheart neckline, A-line, or trumpet in a classic white satin), simply changing up the texture of the fabric can change your entire look into something uniquely you. Think of this option as looking less like a Disney princess and more like the Evil Queen (because what queer doesn’t want to emulate Charlize Theron on their wedding day, amirite?). Shoulders back, head up straight — these dresses will make you feel killer as you walk down the aisle.

Anthropologie Mac Duggal Kylie Strapless Ruffle Wedding Gown, $798

Okay, so this one doesn’t exactly scream “murder,” but we still think this Anthropologie gown is a fun explosion of ruffles that will delight a more whimsical bride. It could easily pair with a wedding crown for a stunningly regal vibe (check out our section on queer wedding accessories below for some of those suggestions!).

Free People Bronx & Banco Elena Crochet Gown, $850

Don’t ask us why, but it’s common knowledge that crochet is the gayest of the knits. Maybe it’s that all our queer friends spent lockdown making each other beanies, but there’s something inherently queer about this unique stitch, which can only be produced by hand. Though this strapless gown has the silhouette of a traditional bridal gown, the ivory crochet pattern and sweeping, sultry thigh slit are enough to keep it firmly in the alternative category.

Nordstrom Ieena Strapless High-Low Evening Gown, $598

If your queer wedding aesthetic is “grandma’s curtains but make it bridal,” look no further than this gold-embroidered high-low gown from Nordstrom. Its floral pattern, etched in metallic thread, is perfect for a bride who wants to feel like a bright, shining star while still being offbeat.

Below, browse some more options for textural twists on wedding gowns.

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Queer Wedding Dresses With Pops Of Color

An obvious way to change up your bridal look is to add a pop of color. After all, wearing white on your wedding day is entrenched in a long patriarchal history (referencing our virginities??? in this economy???), so adding a splash of color is an easy and fun way to tell the man to go eff himself. Many queer brides choose to forgo white entirely, and luckily, there are great bridal options for that, too. Because we can’t think of a better way to celebrate queer love than by including (at least part of) the rainbow into your wedding outfit.

Wardrobe By Dulcinea Persephone Ombre Chiffon Wedding Skirt, $699

Shopping for a wedding dress on Etsy? More common than you might think. We have long been obsessed with the hand-crafted wedding outfits from Wardrobe by Dulcinea, which specializes in dip-dyed custom chiffon skirts, dresses, capes, and overlays. The immaculate work even won the designer a 2020 Etsy Design Award for the beloved Celestial Wedding Dress, but we’re partial to this ombre skirt that emulates a sunset with its rich pops of purple, orange, and pink. Throw it over a simple white sheath for an unforgettable rainbow moment.

Revolve Michael Costello Venice Gown, $248

If color is what you’re searching for, this watercolor dress is the perfect nod to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow without feeling like a baby gay at her first Pride. We love the soft hues that fade into the white, which keeps this high-low hemmed dress feeling bridal while being something completely unique. Another perk of wearing color to your queer wedding? Unlike more traditional bridal gowns, these are much more affordable.

Below, browse every color of the rainbow and then some for your queer wedding outfit inspo.

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Queer Wedding Jumpsuits

Let’s be real: Wedding jumpsuits are a perfect option for a queer wedding outfit. If your gender identity feels like it lands somewhere less than femme but a three-piece suit doesn’t feel right for you either, a jumpsuit is a great happy medium. Plus, your wedding day is typically long and exhausting, and a jumpsuit is comfortable. It’s lightweight, easy to bust some moves in, and frequently pocket-forward! Plus, it’s often more budget-friendly than a dress.

Eloquii Mesh Applique Jumpsuit, $249

Talk about glam. If you are worried that a jumpsuit feels right in theory but isn’t fancy enough for your aesthetic, don’t be. Many jumpsuits, like this plus-sized wedding jumpsuit from Eloquii, are black-tie levels of elegance. The sheer mesh overlay is covered in delicate beading, which looks supremely bridal, while the flowy, wide-leg pants keep things loose and comfy. Pair with a bralette as pictured or a silk cami for more coverage. You can’t go wrong.

Asos Luxe Bow Bardot Embellished Jumpsuit, $320

If you’re reading to feel like a dancing queen (young and sweet!), we’re obsessed with this sequin-embellished jumpsuit from Asos. The sparkle and wide flared leg give more of a disco party vibe than traditional bridal, making it a great choice for someone who wants to steer clear of feeling too much like a capital B “Bride” at their queer wedding. But with the white background, there’ll be no mistaking whose special day it is when you don this jumpsuit.

Check out some of our other favorite bridal jumpsuits below for your queer wedding outfit.

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Queer Wedding Two-Piece Outfits

As a crop top queer myself, wearing a two-piece wedding outfit holds a certain appeal. One, it looks and feels comfortable, but the variations of fabrics, cuts, and styles are endless. Plus, if you’re feeling a need to pinch your pennies when it comes to the outfit, a two-piece can be mixed and matched (is there anything more queer than mixing and matching?) with other outfits to be worn again, and not simply on your wedding day.

Anthropologie AMUR Oriel Strapless Pleated Bustier Bridal Top & Ophelia Tiered Pleated Ball Bridal Skirt, $826

This two-piece wedding outfit from Anthropologie hits all the right queer notes. Its soft chiffon fabric looks bridal, but the separates keep it from looking too traditional or stuffy.

Lulus Sweet Stunner White Lace Two-Piece Maxi Dress, $104

The price is right on this two-piece bridal outfit from Lulus, which clocks in just over $100. If you’re a queer who wants to prioritize other expenses for your wedding day (and there are quite a lot of them), saving on your outfit is a no-brainer. This top and skirt still look effortlessly bridal without looking as cheap as its low, low price tag.

Curious about other two-piece styles for your queer wedding outfit? Check out some more styles below.

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Queer Wedding Suits

Last, but certainly not least, it wouldn’t be a complete queer-wedding-outfit-inspo list without a suit section. If you’re an undeniable pants-wearing queer, your gender identity leans more toward masc, or you prefer a more androgynous style, a bridal suit is the way to go. Luckily, like sexuality and gender, suit styles are infinite, so there’s sure to be something out there that feels like you and is wedding-fabulous. Do be warned, though: Suits generally need to be tailored, and much like tailoring traditional wedding gowns, it’s on the pricier side.

Kirrin Finch Light Gray Linen Blazer, $275

The best part about a wedding suit is the three pieces can either match exactly or be mixed and matched. This three-piece blazer, vest, and pants from queer suiting company Kirrin Finch is an excellent option for someone who also isn’t 100% sure they want to wear white on their wedding day. Light gray is still very wedding appropriate (although take that with a grain of salt — whatever you decide to wear will be wedding appropriate!) without feeling too bridal. If this suit isn’t quite for you, Kirrin Finch is filled with other queer masc and andro suiting options.

Asos Jacquard Faux Feather Trim Suit, $200

If your version of queer style leans zany, don’t sleep on this faux feather trim suit from Asos. Though it’s less masc and more somewhere in the middle, this set is screaming out to be worn at someone’s queer wedding. Bizarre, weird, strange, and stylish? If that’s not queer-friendly, we don’t know what is.

Suiting can be tough, but classic retailers like Brooks Brothers, Elle Tahari, Theory, and department stores like Saks Fifth Ave, Bergdorf Goodman, and Bloomingdale’s are all great places to start your search.

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Queer Wedding Accessories

Every wedding outfit needs wedding accessories. They can be a really fun way to express your queerness, especially if your outfit leans more traditional than you’d like. From geometric bags to colorful shoes to regal crowns, capes, and more, the options for queer wedding accessories are limitless.

Mlouye Micro Flex Bag, $325

Though purses don’t traditionally scream “queer,” this unique-shaped bag is a fun way to keep your most important wedding-day essentials close without compromising your look. It’s roomy enough for lipstick, your phone, tissues, and anything else you might need throughout the day, but small enough that it won’t be a hassle to hand off to a bridal party member or throw over the back of your chair.

Etsy GlamourGhoulFinds Irridescent Tiara, $26

Etsy is a treasure trove of crowns for your queer wedding, but we’re partial to this iridescent one that gives a hint of rainbow in its reflection without being too on the nose.

Seychelles Starboard Sandals, $118.95

Another spot you can fit some serious expression into your queer wedding outfit is your shoes. From bright colors to patterns to comfortable sneakers, the sky is the limit when finding the perfect shoe for your wedding look. This sandal from Zappos is the perfect amount of color, and the heel isn’t too high, so you won’t be dying by the time you hobble back to your hotel room.

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